Star Wars Rap Battles Ep.1 - Darth Vader vs Princess Leia

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Thanks to TaylorMaid for costume and make-up help:

Music Mixed at Sapphire Studios, Provo:

Filmed at a store at the Gateway Mall in SLC, Utah

Creator/Director: Keith Allen
Producers: Keith Allen, Andrew Carver, Scott Knopf
Cinematography: Andy Matthews and Elliot York
Gaffe/Lighting: Marcus Joseph
Writer: Scott Knopf, Keith Allen, Donnie Bonelli, and Sam Forsey
Production Design: Keith Allen and Andrew Carver
Music Production: Andrew Pulley, Mike Fjerstad
Edited by Keith Allen
Costumes: Cosplayers themselves, and Taylormaide
Production Assistants: Jacob Privette, David Oakes, Andrew Carver, Scott Knopf, Ken Allen

Leia: Shae Robins
Darth Vader: Dallen Jensen
Palpatine: BJ Whimpey
Lando: Jay Whittaker
Obi-Wan: Benjamin Phillips
Luke: David Eff Peterson
Han: Keith Allen

Getting this win is something you could never do
They’re wantin’ Episode 7 not Phantom Menace Part 2
I’ll stick your charred face ‘tween a rock and hard place
The only thing you that could ever win is a pod race
And as a matter of fact, Dad, I know that you can’t spit
‘Cause every time that you be breathin’ you be soundin’ like you’re sick
I’m no hater but I hate him ‘cause we know Vader’s a traitor
You breathin’ like a fat kid puffin’ his inhaler
Smoker's voice got a trache in your vocal chords
Smelled your foul breath when I came on board
And the shape of your helmet isn’t really the best
Look,’s got an inferiority complex!
Hot mess! Only battler in a dress
This lady’s running things like I’m a Queen in chess
And I’ll confess, Padme might have done you wrong
‘Cause I just spent Father’s Day with Obi-Wan

You’re stepping to the...most evil emcee
That the galaxy’s seen so you know that I’m mean
I know you know what I mean, you need to listen to dad
I’ll make you choke in this battle...just by raising my hand
Whether slayin beats or younglings I’m doin’ what I’m lovin’
I’ve been the champ since you were just a bun in the oven
Call me Dark Lord and they say you’re my kin
But I blew up your planet and I’d do it again
But it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you in the worst way
Remember when I got you an Ewok for your birthday?
You’re all grown up now wearing makeup and bling?
I know rappers wear chains but this ain’t the same thing
Schoolin’ you in rap and you can’t play hookie,
Shave your legs, Lei’, you’re too short to be a Wookie
And I really would have never had to blow up Alderaan
If twenty years ago I hadn’t met your mom


Leia spar hard put Darth in an arm bar
Better keep put up your guard Darth, or I’m leaving you Jar Jarred
‘Cause Vader ya done done, you should prolly run run
And I'm putting my pops down...don't need any gun guns!
Han, Luke, Bail Organa, Obi Wan
Oh, you thought that you were the chosen one?
Black pleather and plastic? It’s time to play hard ball
Where’d you get your outfit? The Darth Maul?
I might have daddy issues but at least I have a dad
And if you try to ground me, I’ll go live with Uncle Chad
Now I bet you’re getting mad at everything I say
But the day you win a battle’s the day you save Padme
If Vader was my only hope, I’d be hopeless
I’m no Stormtrooper. When I shoot, I don’t miss
I hope this...hurts way worse than when your mom split
And if you act up, well then I’m flipping your off switch


Are you on drugs, Leia? Someone get her a piss test
I’m the Dark Lord but I’m not into incest
I’m telling you the you can’t be mad at me
Your inbred babies will be less pretty than Palatiiiiiiine
Never thinkin’ of the negative
I asked her who she lovin’ and she said “It’s all relative”
Watch your language, you’re making me stressed
You kiss your brother with that mouth? Oh wait, Yes
When you were young I had to bounce
Want the truth? You and Luke, you were creeping me out
What were you thinkin’? No really, girl, what were you doin’?
You and your brother ruined the family reunion
Yo, I’m a huge fan of villainous wickedness
And I know twins are close but this is ridiculous
I’m still your father, Leia. What was I supposed to do?
I had to cut off Luke’s arm to keep his hands off you!
star wars, darth vader, princess leia, starwars rap
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