Star Wars Rap Battle Ep. 6 - Han Solo vs Princess Leia

Song on iTunes: (Link coming soon)
Thanks for being so patient! Love my fans.

Rap Song recorded at Sapphire Studios by Andrew Pulley
http://sapphirerecordingstudios.com/

Filmed at AudioWest studio:
http://www.audiowestmusic.com/

Creator/Director: Keith Allen
Writers: Scott Knopf & Keith Allen
DP: Patrick Hayes
PA: Emily Bean, Elisha Thompson

Leia: Shae Robins
Solo: Keith Allen
Vader: Dallen Jensen
Vader Voice: Riley Workman

A MASSIVE thank you to all the extras that came out to help!

LYRICS:

[NOTE: Han's lines are regular, Leia's line are in italics]

Been on my grind, spittin my rhymes, spending my time at home and flying
Splitting my life, work and wife, getting paid is not a crime
Crew was Chewie, never cheated always beefin’, getting heated
Not gonna listen to what I’m sayin’, look down and read it (points at subtitles)

Me never listen? You need to fix up your fiction
I don’t need female intuition to see all your disses missin’
See, I’m not that type of Mrs., these days our kisses are distant
I know about those “missions” when you and Lando “go fishin’”

Oh, now I can’t have friends? That’s how it’s gonna be?
Don’t act like you and your Rebel buddies haven’t been makin fun of me
I’m just a simple pilot, trying to provide, it isn’t easy
I need some time to unwind cuz your whole family’s crazy

Leave my family out of it, you’re sounding like a tool
Now you really crossed the line, you’re just trying to be cruel
You wanna be a bad boy? Well, how’s this for cool?
You’re an orphan from Corellia who never finished school

Low, Leia…you want a fight, well, I’m the wrong one
You married me to make Luke jealous…that’s the long con
Pining for your brother but your brother was long gone
Forget your kiss…Luke’s had hotter nights in a Taun-Taun

Incest, Solo? You really must be mad at me
You’re an orphan…you don’t know your family
And you’ve been seeing women from across the universe
So yeah, I kissed my brother once but you’ve probably done something worse

Haha, funny, honey, you can’t get a man to stay.
When your brother’s back from Ach-To, I won’t get in your way.
‘Cause your family’s nasty and trashy and right when I blast off
You’re probably kissing Vader with the mask off
But truth be told, your father hates you in the worst way
Your dad probably hated Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Avoided holidays and wouldn’t celebrate your birthday
He built a whole moon just to blow up your birthplace

You had a son who dearly missed you, now you’re talking daddy issues?
All he wanted to do was hug and kiss you, now he’s gonna kill you
Ben will leave you dead, bleeding red, ain’t no tellin’ when
Couldn’t pick up a phone or pen, so if you love him you tell him then

That’s one way to look at it, I hope it makes you happy
You know just as well as I do that Ben was raised by a nanny
You weren’t scrubbing floors, doing chores, you were fighting freakin’ wars
Totally commendable but half that freak is yours

Wasn’t Mother of the Year, but your story’s got no cred
‘Cause early on, Solo, you split like Snoke’s head.
You left me with Ben, so your skills were purely seminal
But even as a single mom I made General.
PTA, went to every game, saw him off for every date
Sitting front row at each and every school play
Hold on…hold on…none of that is true
Well, maybe not, but I did more than you

Well, now we got a problem ‘cause our spawn is the pantheon
Of evil dudes with evil crews, he’s in the upper echelon
You think that I don’t know that? Don’t you try to change the subject
Let me handle all the parenting, just stick to witty comebacks

I can arrange that, but face facts, our child wears a face mask
Maybe we can visit him, surprise him, he’ll hate that
We should go to counseling, we’ll go in as a family
Our son is Kylo Ren, we’re way past therapy

No morning sickness but my baby boy’s making me throw up
I’m about to load up, show up, and go show him who’s the grown-up
Time to own up or get blown up, you and me about to roll up
What? (PAUSE) I just can’t believe we broke up

Now you go don’t start that crap. I like it when you talk like that.
This isn’t over, need some closure, we’ll wrap up right when we’re back
I didn’t mean that thing I said. Han, it’s time to go.
But Leia…I love you. (Ugh) I know.